By Mallory
Carla: The reason I don’t touch the seat when I go to the bathroom isn’t because of germs, but because I’m afraid of toilet snakes.
Elliot: And now so am I.
- Scrubs
For anyone growing up, nervousness and fear regarding the future and the ‘real world’ seem normal. But I know a lot of my fears are unhealthy. While life will always continue to get more complex, I sometimes treat the future like it contains way too much doom and gloom. But as I try to find peace about my more serious fears, I’ve noticed I have a lot of irrational fears, too. Here’s a list of some of them. All of these have crossed my mind at one point or another, but you’ll see that they’re really not too serious.
My list of irrational fears:
1. If I leave my car windows down at a stoplight anywhere, random passerby are going to reach into my car and knife me.
2. If I eat paper (??) I will get ‘worms.’
3. The showerhead may start spitting out blood/murky swamp water if I stay in there too long.
4. Most dogs just want to maul me.
5. My teeth feel really loose and will probably fall out soon.
6. When I’m very tired I kind of look like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. We have similar coloring, I guess.
7. Some especially quiet people are actually reading my mind.
8. I still check my closet every night for that masked guy from Scream, and I’ve never even seen that movie.
Don’t worry, everyone. I really don’t spend a lot of time worrying about this stuff. But let’s take a vacation from real fear and laugh at the silly ones. What are some of yours?
