By MAD21
Ok. I know. The word for this week's carnival is Lust. But I have to be honest with you and say, I just simply could not figure out what to write about, or what I would be comfortable writing about. I thought of going with the lust for power, either at work or over your child, but I just couldn't make the post work. But it did bring to mind an important topic for families, and that is the dreaded sex talk.
Ever wonder why we all, or most of us, really dread the day we have to explain where babies come from to our kids? I think a lot of it has to do with how we were brought up and how it was all explained to us. However unintentional it was on my parents part, discussing anything related to sex was shameful and embarrassing. I was one of those kids who blushed and turned away at the sight of anyone kissing on TV or anywhere else. My friends will tell you that even today, it doesn't take much to make me blush. I was told by many that this would go away once I had kids. I am here to tell you, it did not.
Like most people, I had friends who were more than happy to explain things to me growing up (and believe it or not, I was lucky that the information they passed on to me was mostly right). And then there are the excruciatingly painful presentations they made us sit through in fifth and sixth grades. Ugh. My mother came to the one we had to sit through in sixth grade. Talk about wanting to live inside my desk.
Anyway, even though it is still not my favorite topic, my husband and I are going to do what we can to teach our kids the way God would want them to learn. We will be the ones to explain about how their bodies work, their responsibilities to take care of their bodies, in addition to teaching about modesty and relationships. I will not allow my children to grow up feeling like their sexuality, or their body is something they should be ashamed of. It is a gift from God.
Our kids are surrounded by sensuality, sex, and inappropriate innuendos. They get hit from every direction even when they are as little as ours are. It's all over the radio, commercials, movies, TV shows, and there are even innuendos in a lot of the cartoons they want to watch (or think they want to watch). And let me tell you, it is VERY frustrating that it's so hard to find clothing that is appropriate. I'm sorry, but a mini-skirt you can't bend over in without showing more than you should see is SO not appropriate for my six year old, let alone my three year old. Michael Hyatt actually had a terrific article this week called, "Whatever Happened to Modesty?" I highly recommend it.
I think that we as parents need to step up and do what is right. Set a good example in our own lives, and talk to our kids about anything and everything related to sex and relationships. I know I don't want my kids believing all the lies they will see in the movies and TV shows they will eventually watch. Nor do I want them to be swayed by their friends into believing that purity isn't important. I want our kids to be confident in the promises of God, and like all other temptations, walk away when they know something isn't right.
Focus on the Family has two really great articles about talking to your kids about sex. They give some terrific advice on how to present the information, as well as our responsibilities as a family. Please take some time to go and read, Teaching Children Healthy Sexuality and How to Start Early.
Focus on the Family also has several books on the same topic. I haven't read them yet myself, but they are worth looking into:
How to Talk Confidently to Your Child About Sex by Lenore Buth. "You want your children to know your wishes and God's plan for their sexuality, but today's movies, music and books often lead them in the wrong direction. [This book] helps you find the right words to ensure that your children have a Christ-centered understanding of one of God's most precious gifts. Whether you have a son or daughter, [it] enables you to point them in the right direction."
A Chicken's Guide to Talking Turkey with Your Kids About Sex by Dr. Kevin Leman and Kathy Flores Bell. "Ignorance about sexual matters is downright dangerous! Your child's future depends greatly on receiving the right guidance from you. This practical book is not just another development manual, but it focuses on intellectual matters, where decisions about sex are made, and relationships with parents are cultivated."
How and When to Tell Your Kids About Sex by Stan Jones and Brenna Jones. "More often than not, we parents are caught off guard when our children come to us with questions about sex. And if we're unprepared, the chances are we'll give awkward, embarrassed, incomplete answers. Too often, we don't know how to talk to our kids about sex, or when we should do it. It doesn't have to be this way."
How to Talk to Your Kids About Sexuality by David L. Scherrer and Lilnda M. Klepacki. "Worried about having the dreaded sex talk with your kids? This book delivers the undiluted truth of God's Word to demonstrate His beautiful design for sexuality. As parents and youth leaders, reclaim your role as primary sex educators of your children as you're equipped to address and answer the tough questions."
Coincidentally, tonight as I was tucking my oldest into bed for the night, she said she had some questions for me. The first one was pretty harmless, "Mommy, why don't some parents want to have babies?" The second, "Mommy, how does the baby come out of your stomach?"
I'll be leaving you now to go read some of these books. Pray that I can read fast, and that I can have the courage to not cover my eyes.
This post is a participant in a blog carnival over at Bridget Chumbley's One Word at a Time.
Be sure to go and check out what everyone else wrote on: Lust.