By Beth M
Going Insane
At this time of year, when the ghoulies come out
People tend to enjoy a good scare.
They'll traipse through mazes, graveyards and more
Even be shut in the morgue if they're dared.
My history with scares dates to "The Exorcist" and "Scream"
It's been years since I've felt up for a haunt.
So it took twelve months to man up for this trip,
It was a year's worth of ridicule and taunts.
Down to Eastern State Pen on an October night
We drove, with m heart beating fast.
Not sure how I'd react, would I scream, faint or run?
Would zombies eat me? Make me join the Penn cast?
We boarded the Ghost Bus with an irritating dwarf
Who cackled while squeezing a horn.
Calling us "pumpkins" and running up and down the aisle
Between amusement and annoyance was I torn.
Once we escaped from the vertically challenged girl
We made our way to a booth titled "Will Call"
A freak on stilts stepped right in my path
I'm pretty sure the crowd broke his fall.
With tickets in hand we made for the line
Signing a waiver along the way.
Releasing the Pen from all legal action
Should we expire there and rot and decay.
Around the corner some light-saber fiends
Snapped our picture with an evil laugh.
"Make it a good one" they said with evil grins
"You never know, it might be your last."
The line snaked through a prison courtyard
With wounded soldiers and zombie guards on patrol.
Every few seconds we'd hear someone scream
As distant spirits tried to claim their soul.
We joined a group of six other mortals
Three tough guys along for the ride,
Who didn't want to be first, nor wanted the last spot.
Guess they're really scaredy-cat little boys inside.
The journey through the Penn was long and strange
With strobe lights and moving walls.
The cast of the dead breathed down our necks
And followed us all through the halls.
Their were a few screams that escaped my lips
(Though I was far from scared to death)
Mostly from things jumping out in the dark
Though the scariest part was their breath.
I held on to Lara [so she wouldn't freak out ;)]
As we plodded on through the mist.
To tell you much more would spoil your fun
Should you ever stop in for a visit.
So to sum it all up, we survived Eastern State
With intact limbs and wit
Another adventure to go in the books
(Though we may embellish a bit)
If you're ever in Philly on a crisp fall night
Be sure to stop by Eastern Pen.
While I quibble with the rank of #1 haunt
It's a great time to share with a friend.
[Editor's Note: Be sure to go and read Lara's version of "Go to the Eastern State Penitentiary"]
Beth is a gorgeous, size 6 blonde married happily these 20 years to Sean Bean, dreamy British actor. Their perfect children attend a boarding school in Scotland that they take the scarlet train out of King's Cross Station to each term. In her spare time, Beth likes to perform interpretive dance in local parks and raise awareness for S.P.E.W. Sean and Beth also own a German Shepherd named Chauncy who likes to nap. Beth M. and Lara were the brains behind our fun series on the Year of the Birthday. We are thankful they have decided to continue the fun with the Bucket List.