By Lara
She sits alone in her bedroom looking for any and every distraction possible to keep her from coming up with something creative to write for the holidays. She's already finished half of her vacation scrapbook… made lists of people to buy gifts for… watched a movie or three… called half the people in her phonebook… played her cat to exhaustion… fed and entertained her parents… Sigh. If she had sucked it up and spent $4.88 per 12 cards in a box of non-tacky Christmas cards at Walmart, she could be addressing envelopes right now… and staring at a blank computer screen trying to write a Christmas LETTER. She takes a deep breath. And so she begins.
Right. What will I write this year to amuse and entertain my friends and family? A fable? No. It's been done… recently. Remember the penguin? A play? Hmm. I wrote a Thanksgiving play last year. I guess this year should be a story of some kind.
A story. What could I write about? It has to be funny… People have come to expect that from me. And it has to be appropriate for both friend and family audiences alike. Let me think. What is funny? Bananas are funny. Banana. Banana. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Sigh. No bananas. Oooo. It could be about an animal. Everybody loves Christmas stories about animals. Ok. So… there could be this hippo. And she's friends with a… lion. Wait. That seems too… Madagascar. No hippos. Weasels with chainsaws are funny, but not universally appealing. Maybe I should put funny on the back burner for a bit.
I could write a more serious story. A story that is vaguely amusing but still demonstrates the true spirit of Christmas. A story that is moving and poignant and brings a tear to the eyes of all who behold it… Something uplifting. "Yes, Virginia. Baby Jesus gets His wings every time a little kid sticks his tongue to a frozen Charlie Brown Christmas tree." You know, one of those stories that I enjoy mocking. And how, exactly, do I propose to write a story that I would, by personal principals, be forced to mock?
Oh! I know. I could write a parody. A parody works. Ok. What could I parody? What movies have I seen lately? I saw "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" recently. No. That wouldn't work for a Christmas parody. Plus, I enjoy the story too much. It would feel wrong somehow. On movie night we saw… "Monsters Inc." No. It's hard to parody Pixar. And the movie before that was… "Friday Night Lights." Football players who have to win a bowl game or the Grinch really will steal Christmas? Sigh.
Perhaps I could write a story about what's been going on in my life recently. I could write a story about Greece. I could make that both amusing and fit for all audiences. I could call it "Adventures in International Waters" and talk about Athens during the riot… OR I could imagine what Greece is like right now at Christmas time. I could write about the colored lights and the snow on the… palm trees…
Or I could write a story about a girl who recently started the process of buying a house. It could be about the people who come over to distract her when she gets stressed out. There could be a cast of characters who come over and eat cheeseball and watch videos of people teaching me how to cook. You know… a story about nothing.
She bites her lip and starts pretending that she can put her short hair in a pony tail. She aimlessly taps the keys. She glances at her desk lamp, half tempted to dust it. What day is it? Only 18 more procrastinating days until Christmas. And she still has a Christmas letter to write. "It's ok. I work better under pressure," she lies to herself.
Original, Lara. Get with the program. Think of something original and refreshingly honest. Think of something that gives your reading public a glimpse into your existence… a peek into the inner workings of a creative mastermind hard at work. A snapshot of a writer trying desperately to come up with something special to show the people in her life that she took time and effort with their Christmas gift. Something that screams, "I care about you and don't just think about you at Christmas, but all year long." Something that… oh…
Wait a second. That's perfect! I don't have to spend hours and hours agonizing over a silly little Christmas story that most people will read once and put into a big manila folder of stuff that's too sweet not to save somewhere.
Why didn't I think of this days ago? It's perfect. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Of course. I'm going to take over the world. NO! I'm going to write some vignettes! (Tune in in two weeks to read "Snapshots of Christmas.")
Lara works for the Department of Defense. She would tell you more, but then she'd have to hunt you down and, well, you know... She enjoys spending time with friends, building sand castles on the beach in winter and going on international adventures. Lara and Beth M. were the brains behind our fun series on the Year of the Birthday. We are thankful they have decided to continue the fun with the Bucket List and Every Day Life.