By Pat
I have to admit something that I am really ashamed of: God scares me! I know He loves me, because if His redemptive love shown in the resurrection of His son, Jesus, for us. The Bible tells me from Genesis to Revelation that God is loving, forgiving and merciful. But in reading the Old Testament, we find many accounts of God's vengeance and punishment upon His people for the disobedience and disrespect shown to Him. Plagues, diseases and famines sent to cause suffering, destruction and death, in hopes that the guilty offenders will repent and turn back to Him. Even the killing of infants and children. I don't understand.
Is this a loving God? I get angry sometimes. And no matter how hard I try, my feelings do not waver. Although I pray about it, the anger remains. The doubts. The FEAR. But luckily, we serve a God who understands our confusion and our fears. He knows our struggles, and when we feel angry, He allows us and even invites us to struggle with him. To become angry. To wrestle. He hears us when we say "Why, God?" And He does have an answer for us.
Isaiah 55:8 tells us "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways." And King Solomon tells us in Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding." Those are the words I cling to when I feel afraid, when I can't understand how or why God did what He did. I do not understand, I probably WILL NOT understand, but I accept that I don't have to understand.
I acknowledge that God is God, the sovereign Lord, and He is perfect whether I agree with Him or not. Jesus came so that we are made clean and righteous for God. If God sent His son for that purpose, so that we can be one with Him, there's no doubt He loves us! I am so thankful that we serve a God who allows us to struggle, wrestle, accept and grow and loves us just the same.