By MAD21
Have you ever met someone who just lights up a room? Sometimes without saying a word they make things seem better and brighter.
When I was working in a kindergarten classroom about eight years ago, I had a student who was just that. Rays of sunshine walking in the door. She started attending the school mid-year. I remember the very first moment she walked into the room. There was just something different about her. She had a smile and attitude that would just melt away any negative feelings you may have had before she got there. Each morning she would walk in the classroom with the beautiful grin God gave her as if to say, "I'm here people, how can we have an awesome day?"
Now, before you think this little girl was perfect, let me assure you she was not. We had issues with her from time-to-time, as we would any typical Kindergartner. But for the most part, she was a good kid. You would think that a child with such a good attitude, who was compliant most of the time, would come from a loving, supportive family. But as the year progressed, we learned that she was living in an abusive situation at home. She was the kind of child you wanted to do anything for, and after finding out what she was living with, wanted to do even more.
It's not about you.
I've heard people talk a lot over the years about how joy is not about happiness. There is a lot of truth in that. But to really understand this concept, I think it has to be experienced. You either need to know someone or be someone who has reached a point in their life when they feel true joy no matter what else is going on. To be having the worst day ever, and still have a good attitude. Some people are lucky enough to be born with this joy, others have to strive toward it.
As for myself, I have experienced deep depression a few times in my life. The kind of life-altering darkness only those who have also experienced understand. It's a place without hope. It takes your breath away. But God has worked miracles in my life. I found things to be passionate about. I found joy. No magic potion. No self-help books or new age theology about how I can be all I need to be. Through the darkness, when all was quiet and lonely, I new that God was waiting for me. Even though he was so very quiet, I knew he was still there. When I felt that I had lost everything, I knew that I had not lost him. What else could that be but pure joy?
It's all about Perspective.
I think of some of the hardest decisions/choices I've had to make in my life. The kind where it would have been easy to choose the path away from God. To choose to do something that was the opposite of what I hold to be true and right. The kind of choice where no human would blame me, and some would commend me for making. But the right choice was made regardless of human acceptance, sometimes at the cost of something that was very important to me.
It is in these times when you can feel the worst kind of angst, but still have a heavenly perspective. Understand that the choices we make here in this place can cause us pain, it's only temporary. But the choices themselves are forever. We can feel the grief in having to make a difficult decision, but also feel the deep joy of knowing you did the right thing.
Whether it is a choice you are having to make, or life in general that has you on your knees, know that God is there waiting for you. No matter bad it gets, you can always find joy in knowing our Creator is by your side.
I think of that little girl from my classroom often. I wonder how she is doing after all these years. I pray that God has put people in her life that love her. That she is making good choices in her life in spite of what she has been through. I pray that she continues to hold onto that joy that we saw in her everyday.
This post is a participant in a blog carnival over at Bridget Chumbley's One Word at a Time.
Be sure to go and check out what everyone else wrote on: Self-Control.