By Nick (My Experience As...)
I have a student that hasn’t been attending Sunday services very regularly lately. She is really solid in the Youth, and used to be really solid on Sundays. Most of the time she has some kind of excuse, he brother was sick and wanted her to stay home, her dad didn’t want to get up to take her, she had a school event, she had homework … Lot’s of excuses.
Recently I asked her why she was flaking so much on Sundays. She started to give me the list of excuses and I asked her to step back. There have been times she came with much more solid excuses. On Wednesdays I’ve seen her come and do her homework before and after service. I’ve even heard her comment that she had homework, but would get it done before school because she didn’t want to miss church. She has called for rides when her dad didn’t want to take her and I know she has left her sick brother to fend for himself … if she wanted to do something else. So the excuses are just something to get between her and the real reasons.
Once we got through that she told me the truth. She said she loved coming to Youth and got a lot out of it, but on Sundays, it just doesn’t make her feel the same. She doesn’t feel God, doesn’t get anything, doesn’t feel like the effort is worth it.
I have to admit, I get that. I spend my Sunday in the sound booth try to keep the old, twice fried by lightening system running without a hitch. I’ve been able to find pretty much every buzz, bad channel, and anything else causing problems. Things are working great, but I struggle to get into worship. I find myself distracted and rarely get anything out of the service. That’s a pretty rough place to be, and I totally get how this young lady feels.
Then I put a question to her. “Why do we have church?”
I think it’s a fair question. One I’ve asked others and asked myself. A lot of people will tell you something like, “to recharge my batteries for the coming week,” or “to have fellowship with other believers,” or maybe even “so I can learn more about God.” I forget exactly what this student told me, but it fell in line with those responses. I’ve heard lots of answers like that. I guess maybe the question is just too general though.
I followed up with this, “Is worship for God or for us?”
There are really only two answers to that question, it’s specific and you have to take a side. Do I go to church for fellowship, to learn, to get a boost? Those tend to happen at church but they are all about me?
I love when I’m singing a worship song and get blown away. I’m amazed when the Spirit moves. I learn so much about God and stand in awe at His majesty. These things drive me to want more, but in the end they are all about me.
I give lip service when I say the right answer “of course worship is about God,” but in reality I want to feel “it.”
I think the more I try to “get something out of worship” the more I find I’m focusing on myself. That’s when I really get nothing. It’s in those moments that I take my eyes off myself and start focusing on who He is that I actually feel the Spirit work in my life.
I think that is what Jesus was getting at when he talked to the woman in John 4. The Jews were all about themselves because they had the Temple; they were God’s special people. God loved them above all others. The Samaritans focused on their ancestors who worshiped God in their own way. Their mountain worship was older than the Temple in Jerusalem.
Jesus steps back and lets her know that it isn’t about the place, the history, the ancestors, the people, or anything else but God.
"... believe me, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth." (John 4:21-24)
So the question is, is worship about you or God? If it is about you then it matters how you feel, what you get out of it, even where you are at and all the other things we deem so important. If it is about God, then that is all that matters.
Nick is a husband and father to four children all of whom he loves dearly. He is also a youth pastor to over 50 students, a great writer and a whiz with computers. He has a fabulous blog where he shares his Experience as a Husband, Father, Youth Pastor, Geek and Jesus Freak. Be sure to go check it out.