Organize This! Understand Before You Reprimand
Thursday, March 3, 2011 at 7:00AM MAD21 By Stephanie Calahan (Calahan Solutions, Inc)
Do you have family members that are just not following the routine? Maybe you have put organizing systems into place and you seem to be the only one that is trying to keep it organized? You are not alone. But, before you get too frustrated, listen to this story and see if it can help your situation.
A few years ago, I asked my son (who at the time was 7) to pick up his room and organize his desk. I had been teaching him organizing and “picking up” strategies since he was young, so I was not worried that the job would get done. When I went into his room, his toys were all over his desk! I was frustrated. He had been instructed to put his toys away and instead I saw them all over his desk so random.
A long time ago, I promised myself that I would understand first. So, I held my irritation and asked him:
"David, we talked about organizing your desk. Can you please explain to me what organizing you have done?"
"Mom!" he exclaimed, "I did all KINDS of organizing."
"OK. Tell me about it."
"It is organized by color. See! All the brown is together. All of the red is together. All of the black is together . . ." he continued.
I then looked at his desk in a completely different way. He was applying organizing techniques, just not in the way I had anticipated.
I learned that day and you can learn from me! I have always said that different people look at the world in different ways. I now know that my son focuses on color first. (His closet is by color too.)
Just because an organizing system makes sense to you and is “common sense” does not mean that it will be the same for people that live in your household! By looking at your space from multiple perspectives, you can identify a solution that works for everyone.
Think about your family members that just "don't get it" and decide if they really don't or if they just look at the world differently.
At first, I expected David to put like items together – stuffed animals, car toys, etc. However, when I looked at his process, I really could not argue that he had it “put away.” The toys were no longer on the floor and there was order to what he had done. He had done exactly as I had asked. Was it wrong, or just different? I decided that he was not “wrong” with what he did and we moved on with our day. What would you have done?
To your success!
Stephanie is the founder and CEO of Calahan Solutions, Inc. She is a nationally known speaker, media personality, author, publisher, productivity & organization consultant, and business coach. She believes that organizing is about making time and room for what is important to you and that life was meant to be lived. Stephanie lives in Illinois with her husband, 10-year-old son and Havanese puppy. You can find her on Twitter and at Productive and Organized, Daily Productivity Tips, and at Stephanie Calahan.
Family Management, Organization in Organize This!
Reader Comments (4)
Thanks for sharing this story. I think it's great that you took the time to ask him how he had organized it. It is crazy how differently our minds can work when it comes to organization!
Hi Erika - You are welcome. My son is now 10 (gosh it just does not seem possible says the mom in denial) and color is definitely his preferred organizing style. He thinks color first and then other characteristics. I made a commitment early on in his life that I would try to understand his perspective. I did not say I would always agree with it, but I wanted to understand it! You can learn amazing things from your children if you take the time to ask them what they think about things.
I think that a major obstacle that many face is trying to fit a square peg into a round hole when it comes to organizing! They try to do what works for others, rather than figuring out what works for how they think and work. It is fascinating to me and part of the reason I love what I do. I get to help people figure out their way. :-)
Thanks for taking the time to comment.
To your success!
Stephanie
Hi Stephanie,
Nice fuzzy thoughts on organizing but that will not work here. That is considered sorting by characteristics which can be fine when you have a little one and are teaching him/her such things. I have a 12 year old who would love to organize that way but things need to be in their place at home, at school and in her binder and sorting will not work. Any ideas?
Cecelia -
Thanks for your comment. I respectfully disagree with your definitions, however. Sorting is the process you use of putting like with like, not the end result. You could say it was sorted if all of the toy cars were in the same spot as well.
Organize:
To put together into an orderly, functional, structured whole. To arrange in a coherent form; systematize: organized her thoughts before speaking. To arrange in a desired pattern or structure (source http://www.thefreedictionary.com/organize) The standard definition of organize in the field is: Find what you need when you need it with little effort.
There is a difference in someone randomly placing things and not being able to find them and having a way of thinking and referencing things that is different than the average person. Those that are right-brained ---- generally more creative - often do not think in the same way as the majority of our left-brained world. Their forms of logical organizing are not wrong, they are different and in the minority.
Organizing by color is actually not that unusual. Color is used in all kinds of organizing systems from people's wardrobes to professional filing systems. (sample: http://www.organizedatoz.com/FileSolutions-Home-Filing-System-p/389.htm&click=17) So let's give some closet examples:
Option 1 - clothing put in closet by activity church clothes, work clothes, workout clothes, weekend/casual wear, etc.
Option 2 - clothing put in closet by type tank tops, short sleeved, long sleeved, pants, etc.
Option 3 - clothing put in closet by color red, orange, green, blue, purple, white, black, brown
None of these choices are more "right" than others, but one probably is more appealing to you than others because of how you initially think when going into your closet to grab something to wear.
Color can be used for school too. My son's school actually uses color quite consistently. Different teachers have different systems, but this year Green = take home folder & project folders. Gray = weekend folder Red = Math Purple = Writing Blue = Science etc.
What I believe you are suggesting is that there is a specified pattern at home and school that your 12 year old needs to abide by and it does not match with her style. That is different. There are always going to be social boundaries to any organizing process that impacts others. Going back to that clothing example: My son is now 10 and still thinks by color. He puts all of his clothes away and gets himself ready in the morning. He very rarely asks me where an item of clothing is because he knows where it is. If he had tried to tell me, mom my style is piles of clothes on the floor... that would not have worked for me. I want to be able to walk into his room without walking on things! He has everything on hangers in the closet and those hangers are organized by color. It works for him and there is no impact to my husband or me so we don't care that his closet is structured differently than our own.
Organizing is about FINDING and using an item with little effort. It is more mental than physical when you get right down to it. No matter how "pretty" it looks, if you can't find what you need when you need it, then it is not organized. Equally, if someone is struggling to find things, is frequently late, not turning homework in on time, etc. they need a different system. There is a difference between how a child or adult honestly references things (brain pattern, thinking pattern) and what they want to do for the myriad of reasons that kids do what they do.
Give me some specific examples and I'll give you some thoughts.
To your success!
Stephanie