One Word At A Time: Obedience
Monday, October 5, 2009 at 4:23PM MAD21 By MAD21
Every couple of days, my friend and fellow blogger Bridget Chumbley chooses a word and writes about it. Last week, a bunch of us on Twitter decided that we would all write on one topic this week and then do a blog carnival over at our friend Peter’s blog. So when we were all talking about what to write on, I opened my big mouth and suggested obedience. We’ve been having some issues with it in our home, and for some reason, the word just popped out of my head and through my fingers and I typed it without thinking first. It was, of course, the topic everyone chose. So, here goes nothing…
I asked my family: “What does it mean to be obedient?”
Youngest child (age 3.5): “Get something. Clean up. And putting stuff away. Told to get in the car. Not playing with the light. What told to put stuff away. Putting sister’s stuff away, too. “
Oldest child (age 5.5): “To do something. People want you to do something. A good girl or boy. Some people don’t really want to obey. They don’t want to do what their parents are asking them. It’s really mean to God. And it’s disobedient.”
Husband: “To know what the master wants, and to do it.” (Note that when I asked him, he wasn’t thinking about a parent/child relationship.)
Me: “To do as you are told.”
I was always taught that when asked the definition of a word, you cannot use the word within the definition. I was surprised at the number of definitions (in dictionaries) I found that did not follow that rule. The best definition I could find for obedience was: “the act or practice of obeying; dutiful or submissive compliance.” But my husband actually found one that I liked even more. He found the translation for the word obedience in Hebrew. The word is Shama, which means, “to hear, listen and obey.”
As a child I often thought of obedience sort of as multiple-choice. Usually I’d just find creative ways of doing what I wanted while making it look like I was being obedient (the word for that, in case you're wondering, is manipulation). I meant well most of the time. I mean, it’s not like I set out to get into trouble. Um, well, except for my 4th grade year in which I made it my mission to end up out of the classroom as much as possible. But that's a story for another day. For the most part I was a good kid (so I’m told), but I don’t really remember having a real healthy fear of authority. I was either terrified of them, or gave them no respect.
You can’t really talk about obedience without also talking about relationships and authority. I personally grew up in a really dysfunctional home, so it wasn’t a healthy environment for learning what it meant to be obedient. In my home, you either did what you were told, no questions asked, or you would suffer severe consequences. I found that I usually did what people asked when it would be seen or discovered by the person of authority, but when I was alone or in a place where I wouldn’t get caught, I did whatever I wanted. For me, obedience was more, “just don’t get in trouble.” I didn’t get it.
To have true obedience, I believe you first have to have a relationship. There has to be a connection between the one in authority, and the one required to be obedient. We not only need to have respect and honor, but also understanding. Understanding that the one in authority over us has our best interest in mind. For us as children of God, we have to know that He sees a bigger picture than we do, He has a deeper understanding for what is best for us, and makes the rules accordingly. For those of us who have children, we can understand this relationship even more, as we hold that same position over them. We know what lies ahead of them; the struggles in life; the choices they may have to make. We know what kind of people we would like them to be. So we make rules and set expectations for their behaviors.
But it's not all about the rules, and just doing what you are told. I mean, maybe when our kids are really little, it may be more about just doing what you are told until you are old enough to understand. But I believe that in order to build a healthy respect/fear of authority you have to build trust and faith, and for parents and children, a deep love for one another. First you build love, then trust and understanding. You do that, they will want to obey (most of the time).
For a long time, I was one of those who would see how close they could get to the line without actually crossing it. But at some point after I was older, I began to realize maybe I should stop wondering how close I could get to the line, and starting thinking about why the line was there to begin with.
Be sure to read Peter's post on Obedience and find links to the other posts.
Reader Comments (12)
I like your idea of setting out to define the word obedience first.
I don't think that obedience comes naturally from good parenting, though. Adam and Eve had the best Father of all, and they still disobeyed.
This is great! It reminded me that the more I love Jesus, the more I WANT to obey Him. And the more I love Him, the more it hurts me when I disobey Him. I remember as a child, it didn't bother me as much when I got punished as when I knew that I had disappointed or hurt my parents...
That's good stuff, Ginny! It preaches!
Oh, wow, Helen. I didn't mean that obedience comes naturally from good parenting. But it at least provides a good start. And great point about the Adam and Eve thing. Helps me not feel like so much of a failure with my own :)
Thanks, Sarah.
Ginny, I'm glad you clarified that your husband was referring to a parent/child relationship...LOL
Seriously, this is a great post and I love that you say... to be obedient we first need to have a relationship with the one we are suppose to obey...
I really enjoyed the kids perspectives as well!
Thank you for drawing attention to how obedience relates to action and relationships...
You're so right about the relationship part, Ginny. We need that not only to be obedient, but to understand the full impact of obedience in our lives. I think God not only wants us to be obedient, but He wants us to love being that way - in our hearts as well as in our actions. Great post!
Great post!
Thank you for joining the carnival and writing such awesome thoughts.
Maybe next time the word should be 'Manipulation'?
Great thoughts. Our earthly relationships with parents definitely set us up for an easier or more difficult spiritual relationship. I pray that God will use me in such a way that my kids will know and completely trust their heavenly Father without some of the problems we often have to work through. I know I can't alleviate all of it, but I can help lay a good foundation. :)
Awesome thoughts on obedience Ginny!
"Usually I’d just find creative ways of doing what I wanted while making it look like I was being obedient (the word for that, in case you're wondering, is manipulation)."
Um...ouch! I can totally relate to that, and none too proud of it either. Great post!
I LOVE the Hebrew definition of obedience. It's an act from beginning to end, and it isn't whole unless you follow through.
I've toed that line many times. Stepped over it more than once, too. And I agree with Peter. I think "manipulation" should be next.
Thanks, everyone, for your comments!! The feedback is greatly appreciated.
Billy, you would side with Peter...