What Is The Greatest Gift We Can Give Our Children?
Monday, November 2, 2009 at 7:28PM MAD21 By Kevin (Shooting the Breeze)
The greatest gift we can give our children is ourselves or more specifically our time and our attention! Sadly, too many parents think that as long as they give their kids everything they need and want materially that their children will be satisfied. The truth is that this does NOT work. This may work temporarily BUT it will NOT work for the long haul. Our children want us first and foremost. They want our attention. They want our time. Here’s a general principle, whatever we pay attention to is going to grow. If I pay attention to my garden, it’s going to grow. If I pay attention to my kids, they’re going to grow. Here are two simple ways we can give our children our time and our attention:
1. Listen attentively to them. Our children need our attention! I know that I struggle BIG TIME with this. It is way too easy for me to not give my children my full attention when they are talking to me (especially if I am watching TV or if I am on the computer). What I am saying to my children when I do this is that they don't matter to me. I am also saying that I don't value what they are saying. Ouch! On the other hand, when I do give my children my full attention when they are talking to me I am saying to them that they do matter and I do value what they are saying. To do this, I must stop whatever I am doing and look them in eyes and listen attentively to what they are saying. I must make the effort to engage with them as they talk to me.
2. Spend quality and quantity time with them. Our children need our time! A lot of parents think that as long as they are giving their children quality time once in a while that is good enough. I believe that this is not good enough. Don't get me wrong. Quality time is very important BUT it can't end there. We need to give our children quantity time too. We need to make time to spend time with them. We need to make it a priority. Our children want to know that we think that they matter. So they need time with us and nothing can compensate for our time. Kids don’t need things. They need parents. They need our time. It is through quality AND quantity time that we build powerful positive memories for our children. A few ways that we do this as a family is having family game nights, going to the beach for BBQ's, family movie nights, walks and bike rides and prioritizing a family vacation every year.
Let's commit to listening attentively to our children and spending quality and quantity time with them! I can guarantee that you won't regret it!
Kevin Martineau has been married 16 years and has three beautiful daughters (10, 7 and 4). He has the honour of serving God through his role as Pastor at Port Hardy Baptist Church on Northern Vancouver Island, British Columbia. He enjoys blogging, reading, photography and watching hockey.
Reader Comments (3)
Kevin, encouraging young families to invest like this is priceless. Go for it.
Our girls are 18 & 20. They are already giving back generously, adult to adult. Because we wanted to be with them and enjoyed them, they now want to be with us and enjoy doing so. It is a gift that goes round and round.
Thanks Kathleen!
We had a family movie night right at home a while back and the kids are asking "when can we do it again?" They really do crave our time and not the stuff we think we should be giving them! I hope families can remember this, especially with the holiday season arriving. I think too many parents think they need to spend oodles of money getting their kids the latest and geatest instead of giving the gift of their time and love. Presents are great and fun but nothing can make up for the love and time we can shower on our kids all of the time!