Every Day Life: Random Workings of the Human Mind
Thursday, January 6, 2011 at 7:00AM MAD21 By Lara
All weekend, I have been unsure about what I would write for my article this week. I did see Beth over New Years, but we didn't have any huge adventures. Beth had just gotten over the flu, so we had a rather low key New Years celebration that involved playing board games and watching DVDs. Granted, sometimes that sort of celebration is nice as well. Still. That doesn't take a lot of words to communicate. You already have the picture in your mind, don't you? Two women sitting around a coffee table with a board on it eating rice krispie treats. There you go.
Earlier, while sitting in Panera enjoying a chicken Caesar sandwich, I started thinking about possible article topics. They had one of those folding advertising things on the table. I was slightly pre-occupied, but started absently reading about their fresh and tender chicken. I only started paying attention to the content of the advertisement once I saw the claim that their chickens are fed "a totally vegetarian diet."
My brain stopped. When it started again, I thought, "Carnivorous chickens, really?"
I wonder how many people per year are brutalized in attacks by voracious chickens. One minute they're scratching around in the dirt; the next minute they're flapping in your face and going for the jugular. I'd like to see more media coverage on these tough and less fresh carnivorous chickens. Perhaps an expose on 20/20 or 60 Minutes...
No wonder the cows from Chic-Fil-A want us to eat more chicken. They're scared - afraid that they will fall prey to some blood-thirsty chickens foraging for their next meal. I mean, what's next? Gangs of roving chickens terrorizing small children and the elderly? Why DID the chicken cross the road? To peck the eyes out of some unsuspecting pedestrian?
Soon they'll start granting permission to these dangerous carnivores to purchase fire arms and ammunition. I have visions of wild-eyed, strung-out chickens in white undershirts being chased down by a SWAT team on COPS. Oh the horror! Oh the humanity! In conclusion, I am quite positive that my mind does not work the same way that most people's minds work, but I did inadvertently stumble upon a topic for my article.
And yes, I know that chickens are omnivores... I was just swept up in the moment.
Lara works for the Department of Defense. She would tell you more, but then she'd have to hunt you down and, well, you know... She enjoys spending time with friends, building sand castles on the beach in winter and going on international adventures. Lara and Beth M. were the brains behind our fun series on the Year of the Birthday. We are thankful they have decided to continue the fun with the Bucket List and Every Day Life.
Chickens, Fun, Just For Fun in Every Day Life
Reader Comments (4)
So, ummm.... where do you live, Lara? You sound delicious.... Woops. I meant delightful....
I thought your thought process was both normal and hysterical!
No worries, Lara. Helen is the chicken and she's harmless (most of the time).
Loved the post. Hilarious, as usual.
I heard somewhere that chickens are the closest living ancestor to the Tyrannosaurus Rex. Maybe you're on to something with the chicken fear. ;)