Waiting
Wednesday, November 30, 2011 at 7:00AM MAD21 By Michelle (Graceful, Faith in the Everyday)
"Last year I used to think that maybe I didn't believe in God, but now I know I do." He announces it at the dinner table, and I pause, a spoonful of lentil curry soup poised halfway to my mouth.
"You thought you didn't believe in God last year?" I ask, trying to keep my voice light and bouncy.
"Yeah, but I'm good now. I feel better again," my ten-year-old son Noah says.
"So what made you change your mind?" I ask, soup spoon still steady in mid-air. "How did you come back to believing in God again?" I need to know how he did this. I want to be reassured it won't happen again. I need to know that my son won't spend his childhood mired in fear and unbelief, like I did.
"I don't know. I guess I just sort of waited," he answers. "And then, after a while, I felt like I believed again."
There is much wisdom in that little-boy answer.
He waited. It sounds so simple, doesn't it? In fact, it doesn't sound like much of a plan at all. I expected a more concrete answer. I expected Noah to tell me he prayed about it or read his Bible.
But in actuality, he did nothing. He simply waited.
I don't have the steadiest faith. It ebbs and flows. It wanes weak and then bursts forth, renewed and reinvigorated. And in those waning periods I spend a fair amount of time engulfed in low-level panic. "What if this is it?” I wonder. “What if my faith has been a big farce this whole time? What if I succumb to doubt and unbelief again, forever?"
Ironically, I don't have faith in my faith.
Noah, it seems, has learned an important truth. He seems to understand that sometimes faith does wax and wane. He seems to have learned that sometimes one must patiently wait.
And my child reassures me that in the waiting, God will appear again.
"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." (Psalm 27:14)
Michelle is a Christian wife and mother of two, originally from Massachusetts now living in Nebraska. She is a part-time writer, editor and fundraiser for Nebraska PBS/NPR. Michelle loves to write about how her family illuminates God's presence in her everyday life, and on finding (and keeping) faith in the everyday. Michelle enjoys reading, running and writing. Be sure to go visit her blog, Graceful, Faith in the Everyday.
Faith, Family Life, Kids, Parenting, Patience, Waiting in Family Life
Reader Comments (14)
out of the mouths of babes....
Wow! I needed this today. I've been mulling around with the thought...is faith a feeling? Because there are plenty of days I don't FEEL like I have it...but your son is right...if I wait. Maybe this is part of waiting on the Lord?
I can just see your spoon suspended in mid-air! This post reminds me of a C.S. Lewis quote which I will probably botch. It has something to do with the idea that our feelings are important to us for many reasons; they are God's gift to us. But our feelings have very little to do with our faith. Our faith is God's gift, and though our feelings may ebb and flow, the reality is that He who began a good work in us is faithful and will bring it to completion. And yes, your son is very wise!
What a great lesson, Michelle! Sometimes we just need to be still and know.
Beautiful lesson in waiting for God. Hug your little man for me!
SUCH a wise boy. And such a good mommy. The waxing and the waning? All part of the whole shebang, Michelle. It's how we grow - and the waiting? Oh, yeah. There's lots of that. :>)
One of the life events most [if not all] of us have is exactly that. Looking around us, feeling our social or spiritual panic, even knowing in the depth of our heart/spirit that we'll be growing in the Lord and following Him to the end of time... at least OUR end of time ... we simply tend to fade a little here and there. And then He touches and blesses us, and we are warmly drawn to His faithfulness... and return to our faith. Good job, Mom. And one honest-and-unafraid-to-speak-straightforwardly son.
Nice! I love learning things from children! In fact, my current post on my website is about a lesson learned from my grandson. God has much to teach us thru our children, if we take the time to listen and pay attention. Thanks for sharing, Michelle!
Oh, yes. That's some good theology there, Michelle. You may have a little pastor on your hands. :)
The Good Book says that even FAITH is a gift from God. We can't just muster it up on our own, and thankfully, God can even use the mustard-seed variety.
"I don't have faith in my faith." I really love that line, Michelle. It takes the focus off the self, and puts it on the One who's in control. Our God's power does not rest on the strength of the believer, but in the strength of the Savior. When we are weak, THEN He is strong. Power made perfect in weakness ...
this was real childlike beauty... will stick with me a long time! loved the simple frankness of that little man of God!
Spoke volumes!
Sometimes I just want to spend a day on your red velvet couch, listening to your children.
Psalm 27 has been a verse I have leaned on heavily this past year. Waiting...it's so hard, but so worth it!
Ah Michelle, your little one teaches me much. I am like you - drifting from fear to panic and then I always toss in a good dose of guilt. Waiting - one of my least favorite things to do, and the one thing He requires of me over and over again.
Thank you so much for sharing this.
Wow. This one stopped me in my tracks. I have a ten-year-old son...
but I'm the one who needs to do the waiting.