One Word At A Time: Grief
Tuesday, December 1, 2009 at 12:21AM MAD21 By MAD21
The topic for our bi-weekly post on One Word At A Time is: Grief. It's amazing how a single word like this can bring on such strong emotions. Deep sadness, anger, denial, emptiness and loss, to name a few. Most people couple grieving with the loss of a loved one, and I have to admit, when I first found out this was our word to write about this week, it was the first thing I thought of. But as I began to ponder on this idea of grief, I realized that the loss of someone I've loved isn't the only time I've experienced these emotions.
Things can happen in our lives that either slowly break us down, or are so bad it just takes your breath away. As we walk in our faith, we hear a lot about dying to self. We hear about how God will use our life's experiences to mold us into the people he wants us to be. But in order for him to work in our lives, sometimes we have to let go of things we think we want. We all have plans, things we'd like to have happen in our lives. But as you all know, things rarely turn out the way we want them to. Sometimes they are worse, but sometimes they are way better.
I have had several experience in my life where I was faced with the choice to turn from God, get angry and go my own way, or trust that God is in control and knows what's best for me. The choice between staying the same person I always have been, living in the same situations, or let go of control and allow myself to be formed into something better and wiser, with a better life.
I had one particular breath-taking experience where literally my life was turned up-side-down. I was betrayed by close friends and lost almost everything that meant anything to me. Or so I thought. It's taken years for me to get over this experience, but in the process of healing I have learned a lot. Both about myself, and about how to let go and allow God to do his thing. I had to choose to die to my own desires to be resentful and angry, to live in the glory and hope of the new path God had chosen for me. It was not an easy choice, not even a little. In fact, there were days in the beginning I had to choose faith over feelings every minute of the day.
If there is anyone who knows something about dying to self, it would be Job. He lost everything. His heart was breaking, even his friends were encouraging him to leave his faith and turn his back on God. You can almost see him crying when he says: "My eyes have grown dim with grief, my whole frame is but a shadow". (Job 17:7) "My days have past, my plans have shattered, and so have the desires of my heart." (Job 17:11)
His friends tell him that it must be his fault because these things happen mostly to the 'wicked.' But Job turns to them and says, I don't understand why this is happening to me, but I believe God will bring justice. Job can't see past what is going on immediately because of all the grief he is feeling. He can't understand why these things are happening to him. But he still retains his faith in God. He proclaims: "In the end I know that my redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth." (Job 19:25)
I always say, if you want to know me, look at what I'm passionate about. I often think about the people around me and the things I see in them. I wonder what has happened in their lives that have led them to this point. What choices did they make to get here? Did they chose faith, or feelings? What do you choose?
Peter over at Rediscovering the Church is hosting today's carnival.
Be sure to go and check out what everyone else wrote on: Grief.
Grief, One Word At A Time in One Word At A Time
Reader Comments (10)
Job....always humbling to think about him when I feel sorry for myself. :-)
Ginny, this was a great post! And when I've had to walk through rough seasons, Job is one the books I seek comfort from. Thank you for sharing your heart in this post.
You're absolutley right. Grief is a dying of self, a separation from self -- with ultimate contradictory result of self becoming fully alive. It's a tiny glimpse of what death and resurrection actually means. Never thought about it that way before. Great post!
I want to choose faith. :)
Wow, Ginny. You are a lady of many past stories!
I try to choose faith but so often give in to feelings :-(
Thank you for the reminder!
"But as I began to ponder on this idea of grief, I realized that the loss of someone I've loved isn't the only time I've experienced these emotions." Yep! This is so true! Grief comes in many shapes and sizes. We need to recognize this more!
Thanks for your comments everyone!
Peter--We all have a story, don't we? And we all give in.
Ginny, this is a great post. You nailed it perfectly...
"We all have plans, things we'd like to have happen in our lives. But as you all know, things rarely turn out the way we want them to. Sometimes they are worse, but sometimes they are way better."
Thank you for sharing from your heart, and touching mine!
If there is anyone who can speak about grief, its Job. Though life seems like is all dark around us, there will be a rainbow at the end of the tunnel.
I always love your kind words, Bridget. Thanks.
Bernadette, it's always good to look for the rainbow, isn't it?