Work For Me Wednesday: Teaching Responsibility
Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 7:00AM MAD21 By MAD21
When my oldest first started going to preschool, it was a little hard on both of us. Even though it was only a few hours a few days a week, it was quite an adjustment. I started leaving little 'love notes' in her pockets. I told her it was a little piece of mommy that she could keep with her when we were not together. On the paper it simply said, "Mommy *heart* <her name>." I know it probably sounds hokey. But it helped both of us at the time, and became a loved tradition. (I now find them in my own pockets from her! How awesome is that?!)
A little while after we started doing this, I was out shopping one day and I found a cheap little locket. It was so cute, and at around $3-$4 you couldn't beat the price. I thought it would be a great idea to put the note inside that instead of her pocket, which would also help us resolve the problem of what to do with the notes on the days she wore clothing with no pockets. To say she loved the locket is an understatement. She wore it to school (and anytime we were apart) for a year and a half.
The summer before she started Kindergarten, I thought it would be a sweet gift to get her a 'real' locket. Nothing too fancy or expensive, but a nice one that was just big enough to hold a little love note. I looked for months and finally found one. (So I didn't have to do this over again when her younger sister goes into Kindergarten, I bought two!) When I gave it to her, I thought she was going to explode she was so happy. She wore it proudly everyday.
One day a month or so ago when she got home from school, I noticed the locket looked funny. She started crying and handed it to me as she explained that she had put it in her mouth and had been sucking on it... and bit onto it... and left teeth marks. It had also slightly changed the shape of the locket so the clasp wasn't working as well. She was so disappointed, and so was I. Since she wasn't the kind of child to just randomly put things in her mouth and suck on them (like a baby does), it never crossed my mind to talk to her about it.
I decided it was a good time to teach her a lesson about the value of things we own, and money. (She gave us another opportunity before this too when she broke her glasses, but I couldn't figure out a way to work her into that process.) I took the locket to the jewelers and asked if they could repair it and how much it would cost. I was quite relieved when they said it would only be $15. Definitely an amount I could work with.
I told my daughter that the jeweler would be able to repair her locket, but it would cost $15 and she would have to pay for it. She had a mixture of emotions. Excited and relieved that it wasn't totally ruined and that she could get it fixed, and really upset that she'd not only have to give us everything in her piggy bank ($4.76), but she would have to do extra work to earn the rest of the money.
I was a little worried at first; she is only six. But I have to say it has been a wonderful experience. I don't know if this process would work for every child (including my youngest), but it was a rewarding experience for my oldest. She has volunteered to do many things for us, and most of the time has finished the jobs with a positive attitude.
We go to pick up the locket today after school. She has worked very hard. I am very proud of her. She admitted she did something wrong and worked hard to fix it. It doesn't work out this well every time, but I am so glad it did this time.
Every Wednesday, fellow blogger Kristen at We are THAT Family posts clever ideas for getting things done. She calls it, "Works For Me Wednesday" or WFMW. Be sure to go visit her blog to read her post along with links to other blogs who are participating.
Reader Comments (3)
That was beautiful. She doesn't have to do without her beloved locket because she broke it, but fixing the issue is up to her. I like that.
That is so sweet... and a great idea!
Wow. I really like the way you worked with the situation that presented itself. You didn't brush away her profound disappointment and just make it all better; you showed her how SHE can make it better. I bet she'll remember this lesson as an adult, and I bet she'll never chew on a necklace again!